Quote

A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Provoking
Retort
Sudden
Retorts
Hot
Provokes
Spring
Presently
Asks
Reproach
Upon
Apologize
Woman
Springs
Women
Apologizing

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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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I speak French with timidity, and not flowingly--except when excited. When using that language I have often noticed that I have hardly ever been mistaken for a Frenchman, except, perhaps, by horses never, I believe, by people.
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A man may have no bad habits and have worse
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It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
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I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.
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My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
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More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the [biblical] texts that authorised them remain.
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. When in doubt, tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.
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The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
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God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.
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The weakest of all weak things is a virtue that has not been tested in the fire.
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The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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A good lawyer knows the law a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
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Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon.
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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
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Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
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