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The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Cure
Cures
Bible
Christianity
Reading
More quotes by Mark Twain
If true, rarely beautiful. If beautiful, rarely true.
Mark Twain
You cannot have all chiefs you gotta have Indians too. Perfect love cannot be without equality. A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. We are all alike, on the inside.
Mark Twain
Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
Mark Twain
I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
Mark Twain
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
Mark Twain
A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.
Mark Twain
Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
Mark Twain
When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart.
Mark Twain
The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too.
Mark Twain
I try never to let my schooling get in the way of my education.
Mark Twain
All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.
Mark Twain
When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.
Mark Twain
the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
Mark Twain
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Mark Twain
What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
Mark Twain
The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to institutions are extraneous. . . .
Mark Twain
A historian who would convey the truth has got to lie. Often he must enlarge the truth by diameters, otherwise his reader would not be able to see it.
Mark Twain
Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.
Mark Twain
While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
Mark Twain
A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.
Mark Twain
