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I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Reading
Rags
Whatever
Reasonable
Lasts
Fairs
Last
Proof
Religion
Fair
Read
Cost
Book
Books
Would
Religious
Pauper

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I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.
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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
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A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and -nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way.
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The ancients stole all our ideas from us.
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
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When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.
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Your actions speak so much louder than words.
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Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so.
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You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.
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Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket - which is but a matter of saying, Scatter your money and your attention but the wise man saith, Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
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The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.
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It shames the average man to be valued below his own estimate of his worth.
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
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If I can capture truth in its simplest form, beauty will follow like a sledgehammer.
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What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
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I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.
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George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
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