Quote

Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!

Mark Twain

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Company
Religious
Heaven
Advantages
Place
Climate
Mind
Advantage
Make
Couldn
Men
Dying
Hell

More quotes by Mark Twain

Image
Be good and you'll be lonesome
Mark Twain
Image
Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me and they keep multiplying but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.
Mark Twain
Image
Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
Mark Twain
Image
Great enterprises usually promise vastly more than they perform.
Mark Twain
Image
Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
Mark Twain
Image
It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
Mark Twain
Image
Comedy keeps the heart sweet but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional climb among the pomps of the intellectual snow-summits built by Shakespeare and those others.
Mark Twain
Image
Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
Mark Twain
Image
The truth hurts, but silence kills.
Mark Twain
Image
I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
Mark Twain
Image
Those who do not read the news are uninformed. Those who do are misinformed.
Mark Twain
Image
Always tell the truth then you don't have to remember anything
Mark Twain
Image
Good wine needs no bush a jug is the thing.
Mark Twain
Image
The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
Mark Twain
Image
I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.
Mark Twain
Image
I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
Mark Twain
Image
He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.
Mark Twain
Image
I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.
Mark Twain
Image
When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.
Mark Twain
Image
When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.
Mark Twain