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Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Place
Climate
Mind
Advantage
Make
Couldn
Men
Dying
Hell
Company
Religious
Heaven
Advantages

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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
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Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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We adore titles and heredities in our hearts and ridicule them with our mouths. This is our democratic privilege.
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If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.
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As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.
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As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
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I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
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I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
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How slow and still the time did drag along.
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