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If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Upon
Invoke
Without
Lest
Would
Beware
Time
Intent
Curse
Neighbor
Blessing
Religious
Beseech

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How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!
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Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
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[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
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Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.
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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
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A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.
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Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
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In my nostrils still lives the breath of flowers that perished twenty years ago.
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If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
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When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
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I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
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School gets in the way of my learning.
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The modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism is loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
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A man may have no bad habits and have worse
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