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Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Religious
Religion
Littles
Little
Blasphemy
Beneath
Vast

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Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.
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Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
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The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it.
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Overnight success is a fallacy. It is preceded by a great deal of preparation. Ask any successful person how they came to this point in their lives, and they will have a story to tell.
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The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to institutions are extraneous. . . .
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If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
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Stars and shadows ain't good to see by.
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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
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We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention.
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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
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Never do wrong when people are looking.
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Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
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It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.
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Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.
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