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The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Comes
Didn
Anything
Close
Without
Create
Good
Lord
Religious
Purpose
Funny

More quotes by Mark Twain

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I have spent most of my time worrying about things that have never happened. Worrying is not an action! In fact, it is action that alleviates concern and dissipates worries. Take more actions when you feel that worry is creeping in to steal your time. It need not be a huge action, any action in the direction you want to go will do.
Mark Twain
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Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure at least the pain is the biggest end of it.
Mark Twain
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What is there that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a man's breast with pride above that which any other experience can bring to him? Discovery!
Mark Twain
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What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
Mark Twain
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It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
Mark Twain
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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
Mark Twain
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The calamity that comes is never the one we had prepared ourselves for.
Mark Twain
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The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.
Mark Twain
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Mark Twain
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But it warn't no time to be sentimentering.
Mark Twain
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George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
Mark Twain
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Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
Mark Twain
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
Mark Twain
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Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
Mark Twain
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I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance.
Mark Twain
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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
Mark Twain
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The minute we get reconciled to a person, how willing we are to throw aside little needless punctilios and pronounce his name right.
Mark Twain
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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
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Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
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The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
Mark Twain