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He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Iceberg
Trinity
Solemn
Sarcastic
Looked
Waiting
Like
Sanctimonious
Vacancy
More quotes by Mark Twain
Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.
Mark Twain
We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer is the Indian's God...Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge
Mark Twain
A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.
Mark Twain
when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities Truth isn't.
Mark Twain
There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!
Mark Twain
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
Mark Twain
Progressive improvement beats delayed perfection.
Mark Twain
How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man while he sleeps!
Mark Twain
Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
Mark Twain
When one's character begins to fall under suspicion and disfavor, how swift, then, is the work of disintegration and destruction.
Mark Twain
I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Mark Twain
It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
Mark Twain
High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.
Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Mark Twain
Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.
Mark Twain
Comedy keeps the heart sweet but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional climb among the pomps of the intellectual snow-summits built by Shakespeare and those others.
Mark Twain
The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.
Mark Twain
The proverb says, Born lucky, always lucky, and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.
Mark Twain