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Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
World
Diseased
Sarcastic
Germany

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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
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I've dealt with many crises in my life, but few will ever happen.
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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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History may not repeat, but it often rhymes.
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We are all beggars, each in his own way.
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Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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I don't mind what the opposition say of me so long as they don't tell the truth about me. But when they descend to telling the truth about me I consider that this is taking an unfair advantage.
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Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.
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All emotion is involuntary when genuine.
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I like criticism, but it must be my way.
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When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
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I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.
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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a leetle more expensive.
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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
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The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.
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He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
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By and by when each nation has 20,000 battleships and 5,000,000 soldiers we shall all be safe and the wisdom of statesmanship will stand confirmed.
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It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.
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