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Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Diseased
Sarcastic
Germany
World
More quotes by Mark Twain
If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to see it through somebody else's eyes, because that man will always exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my account of the thing will be the most impressive.
Mark Twain
Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.
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A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors.
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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt.
Mark Twain
I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
Mark Twain
The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.
Mark Twain
When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.
Mark Twain
He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
Mark Twain
All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.
Mark Twain
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
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... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.
Mark Twain
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
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One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one.
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But it warn't no time to be sentimentering.
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To me [Edgar Allen Poe's] prose is unreadable—like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death.
Mark Twain
Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.
Mark Twain
