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We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Pleasing
Flattery
Despise
Pay
Source
Attention

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The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
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A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.
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I said nothing of the sort.
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Better a broken promise than none at all.
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It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
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Congress: America's only true criminal class.
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Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
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I don't mind what the opposition say of me so long as they don't tell the truth about me. But when they descend to telling the truth about me I consider that this is taking an unfair advantage.
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All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
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Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
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A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty.
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Many people have the reasoning facility, but no one uses it in religious matters.
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Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.
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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
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Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane not in all things, but in religious matters.
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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
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Never do wrong when people are looking.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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