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We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Pay
Source
Attention
Pleasing
Flattery
Despise

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Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.
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College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
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Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.
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Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather.
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Canadian girls are so pretty it's a relief now and then to see a plain one.
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I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.
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Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
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It is better to support schools than jails.
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Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
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He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.
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I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.
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Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.
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He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
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The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.
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I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.
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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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