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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Place
Custom
Everything
Sarcastic
Thing
Customs
Somewhere
Merely
Advice
Keep
Else
Housework

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The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
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Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
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There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.
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Customs do not concern themselves with right or wrong or reason. But they have to be obeyed one reasons all around them until he is tired, but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
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When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
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...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.
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I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
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Nothing so focuses the mind as the prospect of being hanged.
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History doesn't repeat itself it rhymes.
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Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent right. God is Might (and He is shifty, malicious, and uncertain).
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By and by when each nation has 20,000 battleships and 5,000,000 soldiers we shall all be safe and the wisdom of statesmanship will stand confirmed.
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Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
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I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.
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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
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