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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Keep
Else
Housework
Place
Custom
Everything
Sarcastic
Thing
Customs
Somewhere
Merely
Advice
More quotes by Mark Twain
Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.
Mark Twain
He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
Mark Twain
What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
Mark Twain
Which is him? The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday.
Mark Twain
Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.
Mark Twain
It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
Mark Twain
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
Mark Twain
Customs do not concern themselves with right or wrong or reason. But they have to be obeyed one reasons all around them until he is tired, but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
Mark Twain
I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task.
Mark Twain
Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
Mark Twain
History may not repeat, but it often rhymes.
Mark Twain
Troubles are only mental it is the mind that manufactures them, and the mind can gorge them, banish them, abolish them.
Mark Twain
I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
Mark Twain
The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.
Mark Twain
When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.
Mark Twain
The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
Mark Twain
No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths
Mark Twain
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. To live a fulfilled life, we need to keep creating the what is next, of our lives. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here.
Mark Twain
A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
Mark Twain
