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They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Help
Kick
Helping
Kicks
Men
Hills
Starts
Suppose
Luck
Ready
Everybody
Hill
More quotes by Mark Twain
In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
Mark Twain
There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
Mark Twain
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
Mark Twain
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
Mark Twain
Cherimoya, the most delicious fruit known to men.
Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Mark Twain
When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.
Mark Twain
The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.
Mark Twain
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
Mark Twain
The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
Mark Twain
I was educated, I was trained, I was a Presbyterian and I knew how these things are done. I knew that in Biblical times if a man committed a sin the extermination of the whole surrounding nation-cattle and all-was likely to happen. I knew that Providence was not particular about the rest, so that He got somebody connected with the one He was after.
Mark Twain
The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
Mark Twain
Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
Mark Twain
The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
Mark Twain
God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
Mark Twain
Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.
Mark Twain
Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
Mark Twain
That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane not in all things, but in religious matters.
Mark Twain
The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.
Mark Twain
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
Mark Twain
