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They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Helping
Kicks
Men
Hills
Starts
Suppose
Luck
Ready
Everybody
Hill
Help
Kick
More quotes by Mark Twain
I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.
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Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake he wanted it because it was forbidden.
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Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
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It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
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Do right and you will be conspicuous.
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Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
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A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
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Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
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There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
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If horses knew their strength we should not ride anymore.
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Never waste a lie you never know when you may need it.
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If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.
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Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.
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A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
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I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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When a man stands on the verge of seventy-two you know perfectly well that he never reached that place without knowing what this life is - heartbreaking bereavement.
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I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
Mark Twain
Ethical man: A Christian holding four aces.
Mark Twain
