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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane not in all things, but in religious matters.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Religious
Examine
Simple
Thoughtful
Easy
Insane
Remember
Islam
Matter
Matters
Mohammedan
Every
Rule
Presbyterian
Things
Beyond
Presbyterians
Question
Koran

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The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.
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Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
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I don't know anything about this man. Anyhow, I only know two things about him. One is, he has never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why.
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I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
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I like criticism, but it must be my way.
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No one is willing to acknowledge a fault in himself when a more agreeable motive can be found for the estrangement of his acquaintances.
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The report of my death was an exaggeration.
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I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die.
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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
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The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.
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First catch your Boer, then kick him.
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The humorous story is told gravely the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
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If true, rarely beautiful. If beautiful, rarely true.
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