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He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Men
Tongue
Criticism
Enemy
Gossips
Wisdom
Habitually
Common
Lacks
Keep
Deadly
Stills
Gossip
Still
Envy

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The humorous story is told gravely the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
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Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
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The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
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Humor is the good natured side of a truth.
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If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
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We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.
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The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.
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I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.
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Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
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I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.
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If we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read and write, everyone would limp and stutter.
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The modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism is loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
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You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
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A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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