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The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Closet
Closets
Beer
Humorous
Painter
Empty
Brewing
House
Painters
Work
Premises

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I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.
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Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
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There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
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Don't wait the time is never just right.
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Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome, along at first, you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died but by and by, you only regret that you didn't see him do it.
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I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.
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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
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Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.
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There is no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair pretext for the usual Sunday medley of dreadful sounds that issues from our steeples.
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.
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We Americans are the most lavish and showiest and most luxury loving people on the earth and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.
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There's some human instinct which makes a man treasure what he is not to make any use of, because everybody does not possess it.
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You can't throw too much style into a miracle.
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God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
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God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. (In God we Trust) is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.
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A powerful agent is the right word: it lights the reader's way and makes it plain.
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Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
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It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
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I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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