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The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Closets
Beer
Humorous
Painter
Empty
Brewing
House
Painters
Work
Premises
Closet
More quotes by Mark Twain
How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.
Mark Twain
If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
Mark Twain
Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
Mark Twain
We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.
Mark Twain
Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
Mark Twain
Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.
Mark Twain
Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.
Mark Twain
Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.
Mark Twain
Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
Mark Twain
Canadian girls are so pretty it's a relief now and then to see a plain one.
Mark Twain
I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
Mark Twain
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
Mark Twain
The new political gospel: public office is private graft.
Mark Twain
All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
Mark Twain
All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.
Mark Twain
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
Mark Twain
Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
Mark Twain
If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.
Mark Twain
