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The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Closets
Beer
Humorous
Painter
Empty
Brewing
House
Painters
Work
Premises
Closet

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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
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Good exercise for the heart: reach out and help your neighbor
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake he wanted it because it was forbidden.
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The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
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All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
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Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, political, or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies.
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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
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He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.
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I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.
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When some men discharge an obligation, you can hear the report for miles around.
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I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.
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To be satisfied with what one has that is wealth.
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Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.
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All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.
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