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When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Seven
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Fourteen
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Amazed
Father
Twenty
Science
Twenties
More quotes by Mark Twain
Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.
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I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.
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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.
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The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt.
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Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me and they keep multiplying but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.
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I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
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When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
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Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth
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He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
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Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
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Experience, the only logic sure to convince a diseased imagination and restore it to rugged health.
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The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.
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Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.
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Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
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I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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