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When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
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Opinion Journalist
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Science Fiction Writer
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Fourteen
Last
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Twenty
More quotes by Mark Twain
Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.
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When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.
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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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I don't mind what the opposition say of me so long as they don't tell the truth about me. But when they descend to telling the truth about me I consider that this is taking an unfair advantage.
Mark Twain
Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
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A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty.
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There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
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The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.
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There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
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All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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We have the best government that money can buy.
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The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.
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It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed.
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Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome, along at first, you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died but by and by, you only regret that you didn't see him do it.
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We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can show off and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.
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If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
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There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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