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But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
People
Suicides
Suicidal
Sane
Insane
Anyway
Suicide
Seem
Seems

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the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
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One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge.
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Do you reckon Tom Sawyer was satisfied after all them adventures?
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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.
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We are always too busy for our children we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.
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The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.
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If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
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A historian who would convey the truth has got to lie. Often he must enlarge the truth by diameters, otherwise his reader would not be able to see it.
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When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
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It is better to give than receive- especially advice.
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The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell, together, as quickly as possible.
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Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.
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Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
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Everybody lies...every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception.
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I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.
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Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.
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Never tell a lie-except for practice.
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It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.
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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
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