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But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Anyway
Suicide
Seem
Seems
People
Suicides
Suicidal
Sane
Insane

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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
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A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
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The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
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It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.
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When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.
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Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.
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Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.
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I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.
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You try to tell me anything about the newspaper business! Sir, I have been through it from Alpha to Omaha, and I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
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These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.
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There is no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair pretext for the usual Sunday medley of dreadful sounds that issues from our steeples.
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