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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
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Florida
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Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain
I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.
Mark Twain
The difference between those that succeed and those that fail is, those that succeeded tried.
Mark Twain
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Mark Twain
It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.
Mark Twain
You try to tell me anything about the newspaper business! Sir, I have been through it from Alpha to Omaha, and I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
Mark Twain
A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he's down, A little more We, A little less I, A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the stri
Mark Twain
That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground.
Mark Twain
....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.
Mark Twain
Like most people, I often feel mean, and act accordingly.
Mark Twain
I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.
Mark Twain
[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.
Mark Twain
In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
Mark Twain
Concentration of power in a political machine is bad and an Established Church is only a political machine it was invented for that it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition.
Mark Twain
I could forgive the boy, now, if he'd committed a million sins!
Mark Twain
A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature!
Mark Twain
The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
Mark Twain
It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
Mark Twain
We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can show off and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.
Mark Twain
