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Always obey your parents - when they are present.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Parenting
Obey
Humorous
Parents
Present
Parent
Children
Always
More quotes by Mark Twain
Don't wait the time is never just right.
Mark Twain
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain
Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.
Mark Twain
We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can show off and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.
Mark Twain
It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
Mark Twain
Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome, along at first, you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died but by and by, you only regret that you didn't see him do it.
Mark Twain
The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
Mark Twain
There's some human instinct which makes a man treasure what he is not to make any use of, because everybody does not possess it.
Mark Twain
Where every man in a state has a vote, brutal laws are impossible.
Mark Twain
My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
Mark Twain
The difference between those that succeed and those that fail is, those that succeeded tried.
Mark Twain
The human being places sexual intercourse above all other joys, but leaves it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain
The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.
Mark Twain
There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
Mark Twain
College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
Mark Twain
Italy is the home of art and swindling home of religion and moral rottenness
Mark Twain
I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
Mark Twain
it is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.
Mark Twain
Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave.
Mark Twain
The highest pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor.
Mark Twain
