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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Newspaper
Gossip
Truths
Journalism
Advertising
Relied
Newspapers
Advertisements
Culture
Sarcasm
Truth
Contain
More quotes by Mark Twain
Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
Mark Twain
Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
Mark Twain
The introduction of homeopathy forced the old school doctor to stir around and learn something of a rational nature about his business. You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths to destroy it.
Mark Twain
To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
Mark Twain
That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.
Mark Twain
The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
Mark Twain
There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
Mark Twain
Is a person's public and private opinion the same? It is thought there have been instances.
Mark Twain
Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
Mark Twain
It is higher and nobler to be kind.
Mark Twain
Vote: The only commodity that is peddleable without a license.
Mark Twain
The dreamer's valuation of a thing lost - not another man's - is the only standard to measure it by, and his grief for it makes it large and great and fine, and is worthy of our reverence in all cases.
Mark Twain
Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.
Mark Twain
Homely truth is unpalatable.
Mark Twain
A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
Mark Twain
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
Mark Twain
A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
Mark Twain
It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.
Mark Twain
The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.
Mark Twain
When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.
Mark Twain
