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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Newspaper
Gossip
Truths
Journalism
Advertising
Relied
Newspapers
Advertisements
Culture
Sarcasm
Truth
Contain
More quotes by Mark Twain
Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity but bet on the other one -- this is business.
Mark Twain
A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
Mark Twain
When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.
Mark Twain
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
Mark Twain
The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.
Mark Twain
Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.
Mark Twain
We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.
Mark Twain
Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
Mark Twain
A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors.
Mark Twain
I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.
Mark Twain
There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.
Mark Twain
Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.
Mark Twain
On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined.
Mark Twain
There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press
Mark Twain
Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.
Mark Twain
It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.
Mark Twain
When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface
Mark Twain
You try to tell me anything about the newspaper business! Sir, I have been through it from Alpha to Omaha, and I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
Mark Twain
Always obey your parents - when they are present.
Mark Twain
More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the [biblical] texts that authorised them remain.
Mark Twain
