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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Newspaper
Gossip
Truths
Journalism
Advertising
Relied
Newspapers
Advertisements
Culture
Sarcasm
Truth
Contain

More quotes by Mark Twain

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The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone
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Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.
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To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else -- these are things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.
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A powerful agent is the right word: it lights the reader's way and makes it plain.
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I try never to let my schooling get in the way of my education.
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We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
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The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.
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The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.
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Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.
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Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
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I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly but their wives had grown old. These were good women it is very wearing to be good.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
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Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
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Manifestly, dying is nothing to a really great and brave man.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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To be, or not to be that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life.
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
Mark Twain