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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Sarcasm
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Contain
Truth
Newspaper
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Truths
Journalism
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Advertising
Advertisements
Newspapers
More quotes by Mark Twain
Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.
Mark Twain
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
Mark Twain
College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
Mark Twain
There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
Mark Twain
There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
Mark Twain
God cures and the doctor sends the bill.
Mark Twain
Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands.
Mark Twain
One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.
Mark Twain
And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows
Mark Twain
No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms-fortunately harmless forms as a rule.
Mark Twain
Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
Mark Twain
God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.
Mark Twain
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
Mark Twain
To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
Mark Twain
France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
Mark Twain
The moral of it is this: If you are of any account, stay at home and make your way by faithful diligence but if you are 'no account,' go away from home, and then you will have to work, whether you want to or not. Thus you become a blessing to your friends by ceasing to be a nuisance to them-if the people you go among suffer by the operation.
Mark Twain
I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.
Mark Twain
When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
Mark Twain
All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.
Mark Twain
I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.
Mark Twain
