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A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Thing
Admit
Humor
Sense

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Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
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You may say organize, organize, organize but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done.
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Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
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I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.
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Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.
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The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.
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The low level which commercial morality has reached in America is deplorable. We have humble God fearing Christian men among us who will stoop to do things for a million dollars that they ought not to be willing to do for less than 2 millions.
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Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
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If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could to-day.
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Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.
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The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
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Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes.
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.
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In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
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The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.
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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
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