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A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Admit
Humor
Sense
Thing

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I like Joan of Arc best of all my books and it is the best I know it perfectly well.
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Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.
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If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?
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In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
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Human Beings are the only animals that blush, or need to.
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Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak.
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An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words it feels like music.
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Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
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There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
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Cherimoya, the most delicious fruit known to men.
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Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
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College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
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In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.
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There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
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The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
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Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
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A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
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Never tell a lie-except for practice.
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The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
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