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I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Solved
Notice
Atheist
Help
Helping
Cannot
Problem
Departure

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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
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All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish
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Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to but a hog is different.
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The vast majority of the race whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind at heart and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence of the aggressive and pitiless minority they don't dare to assert themselves.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly but their wives had grown old. These were good women it is very wearing to be good.
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I try never to let my schooling get in the way of my education.
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If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.
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It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.
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A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
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... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.
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Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.
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The dog is a gentleman I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
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The southerner talks music.
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My own luck has been curious all my literary life I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
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He had only one vanity he thought he could give advice better than any other person.
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