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I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Departure
Solved
Notice
Atheist
Help
Helping
Cannot
Problem

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Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
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When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
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Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.
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If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.
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When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.
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I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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Every year you wait, long ago gets farther away.
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There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
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Experience, the only logic sure to convince a diseased imagination and restore it to rugged health.
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The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.
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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.
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There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
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Does the human being reason? No he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind, politics and religion. He doesn't want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more.
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We like to read about rich people in the newspapers the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
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Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.
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