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It shames the average man to be valued below his own estimate of his worth.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Worth
Men
Shames
Estimate
Valued
Esteem
Shame
Average

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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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the size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider’s measurement of it but only by the measurements applied to it by the person specially affected by it.
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Like most people, I often feel mean, and act accordingly.
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But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.
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We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy that watches over their dignity that focuses their vision true--humor.
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Humor is the good natured side of a truth.
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You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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Make your vacation your vocation.
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The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.
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Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.
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Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
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To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
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No one is willing to acknowledge a fault in himself when a more agreeable motive can be found for the estrangement of his acquaintances.
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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
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You can't throw too much style into a miracle.
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Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
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It is a shameful thing to insult a child.
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If we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read and write, everyone would limp and stutter.
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