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The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Difficult
Facts
Contemplating
Esteem
Deal
Deals

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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined.
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Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather.
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A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
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When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.
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You are a coward when you even seem to have backed down from a thing you openly set out to do
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I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
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By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.
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And how moving is the eloquence of the untaught when it is the heart that is speaking!
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Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.
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You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.
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Man proposes, but God blocks the game.
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I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
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A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
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