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I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Money
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Offer
Investment
Millionaires
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Riches
More quotes by Mark Twain
Nothing so focuses the mind as the prospect of being hanged.
Mark Twain
We must put up with clothes as they are they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us to advertise what we wear them to conceal.
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Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me and they keep multiplying but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.
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English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.
Mark Twain
Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style.
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We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-
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Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
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It's not as bad as it sounds.
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I like criticism, but it must be my way.
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I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.
Mark Twain
Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?
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If I can capture truth in its simplest form, beauty will follow like a sledgehammer.
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There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
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The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.
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The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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To stand still is to fall behind.
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I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
Mark Twain
Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.
Mark Twain
