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When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Teacher
Name
Trouble
Education
Sassy
Names
Calls
Means
Entire
Mean
Teaching
Boys

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Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.
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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
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...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'
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Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine.
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The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.
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Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
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the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.
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Delicacy - a sad, sad false delicacy - robs literature of the two best things among its belongings: Family-circle narratives & obscene stories.
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.
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In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.
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I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.
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