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When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Teacher
Name
Trouble
Education
Sassy
Names
Calls
Means
Entire
Mean
Teaching
Boys
More quotes by Mark Twain
When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.
Mark Twain
It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
Mark Twain
More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.
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Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
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Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.
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A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
Mark Twain
Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.
Mark Twain
You may have noticed that the less I know about a subject the more confidence I have, and the more new light I throw on it.
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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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Concentration of power in a political machine is bad and an Established Church is only a political machine it was invented for that it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition.
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The low level which commercial morality has reached in America is deplorable. We have humble God fearing Christian men among us who will stoop to do things for a million dollars that they ought not to be willing to do for less than 2 millions.
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A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
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It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.
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He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
Mark Twain
[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.
Mark Twain
In other localities certain places in the streams are much better than others, but at Niagara one place is just as good as another, for the reason that the fish do not bite anywhere.
Mark Twain
One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
Mark Twain
It is impossible that a genius - at least a literary genius - can ever be discovered by his intimates they are so close to him that he is out of focus to them and they can't get at his proportions they can't perceive that there is any considerable difference between his bulk and their own.
Mark Twain
