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When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Mean
Teaching
Boys
Teacher
Name
Trouble
Education
Sassy
Names
Calls
Means
Entire

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Civilization largely consists in hiding human nature. When the barbarian learns to hide it we account him enlightened.
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Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
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If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
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Humor is the good natured side of a truth.
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Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
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I was educated, I was trained, I was a Presbyterian and I knew how these things are done. I knew that in Biblical times if a man committed a sin the extermination of the whole surrounding nation-cattle and all-was likely to happen. I knew that Providence was not particular about the rest, so that He got somebody connected with the one He was after.
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If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.
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The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.
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It is at our mother's knee that we acquire our noblest and truest and highest ideals.
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An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
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Nature knows no indecencies man invents them.
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it is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.
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If true, rarely beautiful. If beautiful, rarely true.
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Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
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Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
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