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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Trouble
Seen
Came
Half
True
Ever
Troubles
Many
Time
Worry

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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
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Cherimoya, the most delicious fruit known to men.
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Make your vacation your vocation.
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By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.
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Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket - which is but a matter of saying, Scatter your money and your attention but the wise man saith, Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
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A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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To believe yourself brave is to be brave it is the one only essential thing.
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When a person is accustomed to one hundred and thirty-eight in the shade, his ideas about cold weather are not valuable.
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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
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The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.
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Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.
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Braveness is resistance to concern, mastery of panic - not absense of anxiety.
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What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
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If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.
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There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!
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A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
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