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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Trouble
Seen
Came
Half
True
Ever
Many
Troubles
Time
Worry

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There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
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Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can't do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.
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There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.
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Until I came to New Mexico, I never realized how much beauty water adds to a river.
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I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.
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It's so damned humiliating.
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
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How slow and still the time did drag along.
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I've never let my school interfere with my education.
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Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
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Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
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Let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of this scene
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The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers and they who are millionaires.
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God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.
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I've dealt with many crises in my life, but few will ever happen.
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Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.
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To me [Edgar Allen Poe's] prose is unreadable—like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death.
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