Quote

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so

Mark Twain

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Show
Number
Proves
Left
Prove
July
Shows
Fool
Inadequate
Together
Lose
Fools
Country
Numbers
Statistics
Years
Loses
Stock
Days
Fourth
Year
Grown

More quotes by Mark Twain

Image
Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
Mark Twain
Image
For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit.
Mark Twain
Image
Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
Mark Twain
Image
when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
Mark Twain
Image
Always obey your parents - when they are present.
Mark Twain
Image
When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.
Mark Twain
Image
when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
Mark Twain
Image
A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.
Mark Twain
Image
The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the tellingthe comic and the witty story upon the matter.
Mark Twain
Image
This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
Mark Twain
Image
There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
Mark Twain
Image
I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
Mark Twain
Image
Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
Mark Twain
Image
All emotion is involuntary when genuine.
Mark Twain
Image
Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.
Mark Twain
Image
I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I'm not in any hurry.
Mark Twain
Image
I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.
Mark Twain
Image
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
Mark Twain
Image
Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
Mark Twain
Image
Is not this insanity plea becoming rather common? Is it not so common that the reader confidently expects to see it offered in every criminal case that comes before the courts?... Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity.
Mark Twain