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July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Shows
Fool
Inadequate
Together
Lose
Fools
Country
Numbers
Statistics
Years
Loses
Stock
Days
Fourth
Year
Grown
Show
Number
Proves
Left
Prove
July

More quotes by Mark Twain

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France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.
Mark Twain
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If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.
Mark Twain
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For England must not fall: it would mean an inundation of Russian & German political degradations which would envelop the globe & steep it in a sort of Middle-Age night & slaverly which would last till Christ comes again - which I hope he will not do he made trouble enough before.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
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When a man stands on the verge of seventy-two you know perfectly well that he never reached that place without knowing what this life is - heartbreaking bereavement.
Mark Twain
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Sum all the gifts that man is endowed with, and we give our greatest share of admiration to his energy. And today, if I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to Energy and fall down and worship it!
Mark Twain
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One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one.
Mark Twain
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The lightning there is peculiar it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.
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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Mark Twain
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I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.
Mark Twain
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Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs?
Mark Twain
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There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press
Mark Twain
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France has usually been governed by prostitutes
Mark Twain
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Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
Mark Twain
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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
Mark Twain
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It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
Mark Twain
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
Mark Twain
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We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.
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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
Mark Twain