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I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Like
Dance
Butterfly
Aired
Step
Peculiar
Kangaroo
Steps
Parties
Beau
Grace
Dress
Kangaroos
Party
Evening
Sumptuous
Lasts
Dresses
Longed
Last
Dancing
Graces
Born
Private
Attended

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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
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The choir always tittered and whispered all through the service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I have forgotten where it was.
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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
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Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
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From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one -- to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.
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Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
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You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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Leaving out the gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in God after a fashion. But, after all, it is an overstatement. If the cholera or black plague should come to these shores, perhaps the bulk of the nation would pray to be delivered from it, but the rest would put their trust in The Health Board.
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History doesn't repeat itself it rhymes.
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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
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For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit.
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Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent right. God is Might (and He is shifty, malicious, and uncertain).
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There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
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Congress: America's only true criminal class.
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High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.
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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
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