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I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Grace
Dress
Kangaroos
Party
Evening
Sumptuous
Lasts
Dresses
Longed
Last
Dancing
Graces
Born
Private
Attended
Like
Dance
Butterfly
Aired
Step
Peculiar
Kangaroo
Steps
Parties
Beau

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Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
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That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
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I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
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Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
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Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me and they keep multiplying but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.
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Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW is only a small step and quickly taken.
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Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
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Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.
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More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.
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