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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Done
Invented
Would
Witty
Men
Celebrate
Killing
Mere
Anniversaries
Ought
Celebrating
Funny
Anniversary
Light
Hilarious
More quotes by Mark Twain
We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries it is only when we set out to discover the secret of God that our difficulties disappear.
Mark Twain
Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
Mark Twain
Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
Mark Twain
There isn't any way to libel the human race.
Mark Twain
Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.
Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
Mark Twain
I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance.
Mark Twain
When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
Mark Twain
The calamity that comes is never the one we had prepared ourselves for.
Mark Twain
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
Mark Twain
I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die.
Mark Twain
There is not an acre of ground on the globe that is in possession of its rightful owner, or that has not been taken away from owner after owner, cycle afer cycle, by force and bloodshed.
Mark Twain
We are all alike, on the inside.
Mark Twain
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
Mark Twain
Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine.
Mark Twain
One must travel, to learn.
Mark Twain
Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
Mark Twain
A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors.
Mark Twain
What is there that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a man's breast with pride above that which any other experience can bring to him? Discovery!
Mark Twain
One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
Mark Twain