Quote

Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to resort to violence.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Days
Resort
Rather
Resorts
Two
Note
Work
Reached
Make
Pray
Would
Notes
World
Praying
Violence
Overdue

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A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
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Delicacy - a sad, sad false delicacy - robs literature of the two best things among its belongings: Family-circle narratives & obscene stories.
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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
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Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me and they keep multiplying but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.
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Braveness is resistance to concern, mastery of panic - not absense of anxiety.
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him.
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It is not in the least likely that any life has ever been lived which was not a failure in the secret judgment of the person who lived it.
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the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
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It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
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Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.
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Is not this insanity plea becoming rather common? Is it not so common that the reader confidently expects to see it offered in every criminal case that comes before the courts?... Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity.
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When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.
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If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.
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....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.
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Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
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Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
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In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch.
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Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
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