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My own luck has been curious all my literary life I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Believe
Curious
Never
Luck
Would
Anybody
Life
Doubt
Anyone
Lying
Tell
Truth
Literary

More quotes by Mark Twain

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All human rules are more or less idiotic.
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If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.
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The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty
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The community is eminently Portuguese - that is to say, it is slow, poor, shiftless, sleepy, and lazy.
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Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.
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Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
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Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use.
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You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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Do one thing every day you don't want to do.
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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
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I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled with the blessed peace, as I did yesterday when I learned that Michael Angelo was dead.
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If horses knew their strength we should not ride anymore.
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
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His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
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It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Overnight success is a fallacy. It is preceded by a great deal of preparation. Ask any successful person how they came to this point in their lives, and they will have a story to tell.
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A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
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Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
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I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.
Mark Twain