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I don't mind what the opposition say of me so long as they don't tell the truth about me. But when they descend to telling the truth about me I consider that this is taking an unfair advantage.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Mind
Opposition
Consider
Telling
Advantage
Taking
Tell
Truth
Descend
Long
Unfair

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When a man stands on the verge of seventy-two you know perfectly well that he never reached that place without knowing what this life is - heartbreaking bereavement.
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Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
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It is wiser to find out than to suppose.
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Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
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The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
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the size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider’s measurement of it but only by the measurements applied to it by the person specially affected by it.
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If there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull. Even trying to find out and not finding out is just as interesting as trying to find out and finding out and I don't know but more so.
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When congress is in session no American is safe.
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These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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But we love the Old Travelers. We love to hear them prate and drivel and lie.
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This autobiography of mine is a mirror, and I am looking at myself in it all the time. Incidentally I notice the people that pass along at my back - I get glimpses of them in the mirror - and whenever they say or do anything that can help advertise me and flatter me and raise me in my own estimation, I set these things down in my autobiography.
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We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.
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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
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The Mississippi River will always have its own way no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise.
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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
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Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
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A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
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A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
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We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.
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