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I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Spent
Make
Dies
World
Funny
Paupers
Next
Professionally
Truth
Astonishment
Dealt
Come
Enter
Enough
Saved
Many

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I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They can't be made to do it in any possible way.
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The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.
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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
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There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.
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We are discreet sheep we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
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People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.
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If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I have noticed that when a man is right down cheerful, he is seldom unhappy for the time being. Such is the nature of man.
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The miracle or the power that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application and perseverance under the promptings of a brave, determined spirit.
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Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.
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It will take mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details, and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss.
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There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
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God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
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