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I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Many
Saved
Make
Spent
World
Dies
Funny
Paupers
Next
Professionally
Truth
Astonishment
Come
Dealt
Enough
Enter

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.
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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn
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The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
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Heaven is by favor if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.
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I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.
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Life is short. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly and love truly.
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A habit cannot be tossed out the window it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
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It's so damned humiliating.
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I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
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All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.
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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.
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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!
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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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The average man don't like trouble and danger.
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
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Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
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